Happy Saturday, race fans and nostalgia nerds! Craving some new matieral that rekindles that childhood Saturday morning fun with a tire shredding twist? I got you covered!
I recently floated the idea of doing a small series of posts of “fan fiction” stories based on some of our favorite Saturday Morning memories! Now, I’m a big Hanna Barbera fan, and I’m sure it won’t surprise you which franchise I’ve chosen to kick this series off! A mystery that revolves around car racing? How cool is that? And you know which show did that! So here, for the first time, is my homage to that classic 1976 episode The Spooky Case of the Grand Prix Race.
This ep was the first of four segments of Scooby’s All Star Laff-a-Lympics. It was later repackaged as the fifth episode of the second season of The Scooby-Doo Show, and the twenty-first episode overall in the series. This has always been one of my favorites and, ya know, I bet I don’t have to explain why!
So ask yourself what would happen if, after Scooby and the gang solved that famous mystery, the Phantom Racer came back….making a new appearance at a particular racing track at a little town in Southern California in the mid 1980s?!
Well, wonder no more, because here is the story! As cartoon “fan fiction” this is by no means “serious writing,” but it was fun to write and I hope its fun to read!
Enjoy dear readers, and tell me what you think of this idea now that its a reality: would you like to see more like this, with some fan fic eps based on other classic cartoons, or is this a misfire? Thumbs up or thumbs down, let me know!
As much as I go on about the lore of Drag City Raceway, you would think that by now I would already have posted something like this. So file under “better late than never” as I present my first annotated bird’s eye views of the track! Racing in the counter-clockwise direction as is the tradition here in ‘Murrrr’ca, the turns are numbered in sequence from the starting line!
1. Banked Turn 1
2. Banked Turn 2
3. Beginning of chicane
4. Middle of chicane
5. End of chicane
6. unnamed-turn 6
7. Gentle Bend
8. Beginning of “S-bend”
9. Middle of “S-bend”
10. End of “S-bend”
11. unnamed-turn 11
12. unnamed-turn 12
13. unnamed-turn 13
14. Hairpin 1
15. Hairpin 2
16. unnamed-turn 16
17. Corkscrew (this used to be a corkscrew but the track was redesigned due to an excessive number of wrecks here, but it is still referred to as “The Corkscrew” even though it no longer technically is)
18. Sweeper Turn
19. End of Sweeper Turn
20. Dead Man’s Curve
The final turn before the straightaway, as innocuous looking as it may be, is actually the most dangerous turn in the track: it’s sharper than it looks, and because it proceeds the quarter mile straightaway, it’s not uncommon for drivers to wipe out at this critical spot as they go through the turn itching to blast up to full speed and can make the mistake of getting on it and instant too early! For this reason, this is the turn that bears the nickname Dead Man’s Curve!
In addition to this view of the track, there is also a look at Bear Valley Road, The main business route through Wardglenn; this shows some of the businesses that compose this part of the town, although of course they are all dwarfed by the track and its parking lot.
I post these in the hope that it will provide some context for the blog posts, in particular for a special upcoming post I’m going to drop on Saturday morning! This is one that I’ve been promising – remember this post? – but it’s highly experimental, and I’m about to go balls-out on this project without having any real idea how people might react to it! It might be one of the best ideas I’ve ever had, or it might go over like a lead balloon! If you want to find out, be sure to tune in this Saturday for Drag City’s first-ever installment of Saturday Morning Time Machine!
“Es Ay Tee You Are Dee Ay Why…night!” So sang the Bay City Rollers with a Billboard #1 hit in 1975, and that year is going to be significant to tonight’s post. I’ll tell you why in a bit, but yeah, I’m posting LATE tonight, dear readers! Usually, my weekend posts drop in the morning, but this is the first time in a long time I’ve had a Saturday almost all to myself, and I’ve been enjoying it! I’ll show you a little bit of how, and why it relates to Drag City and the sprawling, ever growing scenery around it!
My Smurf! 🤣
It started with a Friday night dinner with my cub Jason and his family at Old Santa Fe, followed by a night at the movies – something I rarely do these days – when I humored J by accompanying him to a screening of The Smurfs movie! Hey…stop laughing! OK, I’m not a Smurfs fan…you’re probably not either. But Jason is; that’s one of his Saturday morning memories. While I was watching all the Hanna Barbera and Filmation stuff, he was watching Smurfs, so, OK, sure; free movie? Why not? Well, it turned out to be a far more entertaining film that I was expecting! Silly, of course, but fun! We had a good time! And since I crashed at his place that night, I woke up this morning only a couple of miles down the road from you know where! And you know what that means!
Matchbox Nissan “Hardbody” – throughout my life I’ve personally known at least 3 people who drove one of these trucks! I know what they feel like inside and out! Shown at the bottom beside “Optimus Prime,” another Icon of the eraAnother staple of the ’80s, the Toyota Van, as rendered by Hot Wheels. Egad, these things were ugly! They sure were popular, though!Some more vintage goodness: a Hot Ones rendering of the Toyota Starlet, a short-lived compact replaced by the Tercel in 1985, and a pair of Matchbox Jeep Grand Cherokees from the early Reagan era!
I was more restrained than usual this time around and kept to the 50 Cent bin and the dollar wall for the most part, buying only one premium and three regular price main lines, but I still came away with some great stuff, and one in particular really stood out: it’s so cool that, yep: it has to go on the diorama!
My haul from today’s visit to COD included a couple of American Diorama sets and a mix of HW and MBX of various styles and vintages. For 50¢ or a buck? Anything that looks interesting!
I swung back by J’s pad to drop off the cars I got for him and to make sure the kitters, Turbo and Nitro, had enough food and water. And so, content that the cats were playing quietly with their Hot Wheels, I left Jason’s place and headed to the office to do some network diagramming (yes, I had to work for a few hours even today) before heading home to a quiet evening at home with my toys-something I have far too little of these days! I had a project in waiting that I wanted to work on, and that’s where we’re headed next!
J’s kittens, Turbo and Nitro, like Hot Wheels too!
Being down in the basement to do a little more rearranging on the diorama got me thinking about heading to the track with my buddies on a summer race day…
The coolest “catch of the day” was this HTF ’41 Willys from the HW Flames series in satin black with pearl white flames, blue pinstripes, and whitewalls. Irresistible!HAD to put this one on the layout, and since there is just no place left in the paddock or the inspection area, I settled for the parking lot; “settled” because this car probably isn’t street legal, but…I just said there’s no more room in the paddock, but this also just had to happen; the best find of my previous day trip to COD is this awesome white Cunningham C4R with “Tyrol Blue” racing stripes; this is a Hot Wheels mainline, believe it or not, and it’s an awesome model of a beautiful and historically important car! This came at the expense of removing a white Matchbox Jaguar E-Type coupe, which I customized myself and which has been on the layout since the days of the Mk II track! It hurt, but it was the only way…
Since I am your conduit to what’s going on at and around Drag City, Jason and I, and now Roxy as well, are essentially functioning as reporters from the scene. “The Holy Grail,” my old gray ‘56 Chevy Two-Ten sedan, is an excellent conveyance for two or three people and their gear: it’s got plenty of power, is decently reliable, and great on the highway. But I have been wondering if we need something a little bit more utilitarian: something a little newer, a little more versatile, a little more truck-like. Remember that the 1980s were the era before the reign of the SUV! “SUV-like” vehicles did exist: the Chevy Suburban, the Ford Bronco, the Toyota Land Cruiser, to name three off the top of my head: but they were much more like trucks than today’s SUVs, most of which are more like cars. So, I was thinking about some good candidates for such a vehicle for us to jaunt down interstate 8 to Wardglenn.
Your bumble blogger cruises into the parking lot on another bustling race day at the track
Now, of course we’re going to want something classic, something with some gravitas behind it: but we also need something that’s functional, something that makes sense. So, after a little bit of thought – but not much, I assure you! – 3 vehicles sprang to mind for this purpose:
1. 1965 Land Rover Series II 2. 1975 Chevy Blazer 3. 1985 Toyota SR-5
Hmmm… which one to choose? It seems they all have something to offer…
1. Land Rover Series II
Pros: Iconic, photogenic, rugged as hell, looks great with desert dust and vintage signage.
Cons: Slow. Like, “watching the taillights of your own patience fade into the horizon” slow. Not ideal for parts runs or beer hauls to Turn 14.
Vibe: Colonial rally romantic. Cool for show, frustrating in practice.
2. Toyota SR5 4×4 (’85 style, BTTF spec)
Pros: Light, fast, reliable, looks killer in bright blue, and has pop-culture clout. Also very plausible as a real mid-’80s vehicle in Wardglenn.
Cons: Slightly less “American muscle,” but balances that by being universally loved and respected — even by old-school V8 heads.
Vibe: California cool with just enough grit. Works for late-night escape missions and hauling greasy engines.
3. Late ’70s K5 Blazer
Pros: Total badass. Big V8. Drop the top and it’s a rolling party. Plenty of room for tools, lawn chairs, and Roxy’s coffee gear. Retro-perfect.
Cons: Gas-guzzler. A little bulky. Loud even when you don’t want it to be.
Vibe: All-American. Think “Turn 14 BBQ command center.” Jason’s probably already called dibs on the tailgate seat.
🔧 So what’s it gonna be?
If you want style and grit, with a wink toward cult movie charm? SR5 in bright blue is a killer pick. If you want authority and utility, with American grunt and a touch of dirtbag luxury? The K5 Blazer is the undisputed beast. If you want vibes over practicality, with an unbeatable silhouette and storytelling presence? Land Rover’s your spiritual choice — but maybe not your functional one.
Well….OK then, so then I had to think about what Jason would want (and I can ask him, since he’s real) and then I had to think about what Roxy would want (and she’s not real, but I can ask her “AI representative” for her input).
“Artist’s impression” of me and my crew on the highway with the LR SII…and if you think Roxy doesn’t look too happy, well…can you blame her?
So how do you think that went? What would you choose?
If you’ve ever read this blog before, I have a feeling you know what my choice would be! As for Roxy’s preference…Roxy would absolutely have an opinion, and she wouldn’t wait to be asked. She’d probably eye the Blazer, smirk just slightly, and mutter something like:
“Hope you’re not planning to let that thing idle for twenty minutes again like last time. Smells like unburnt regret.”
Then she’d climb into the Toyota, fire it up on the first crank, and be halfway to the parts shack before I could say “let’s go.”
As for Jason — I need to ask. Jason can be painfully practical at times.
So, I did! And I reminded him that since this is 1986, none of these rigs have air-conditioning, but they will ALL have stereo tape decks, because we can’t road trip without mix tapes! Once that was out of the way, he made a couple of good points about the Toyota: it’s too small for both of us and our gear, let alone 3 of us…and then on top of that, it has no security: its a truck, everything will have to sit in the bed, and no weather protection besides! And the Blazer? A gas guzzler! Too big, too noisy, too flashy!
With the unpainted figures test fitted: now the painting begins!
So, Roxy picked the ‘Yota. J picked the Land Rover. Your bumble blogger? Well, I say J is right that the Toyota is too small, but as appealing as it is, the Land Rover is too slow! Its not gonna be any fun thrumming along in the slow lane on the California interstate with 67 horsepower no matter how good the gas mileage is! And on top of that, the LR is also going to be the most uncomfortable of the 3! If the Blazer becomes the crew rig, we all know who’s driving most of the time…And we definitely know who’s controlling the stereo!
After a couple of painstaking hours with the paints, brushes, and magnifying glasses!
But there’s one overarching reason why I’m pulling rank on my friends, and that is…THE HOT WHEELS MODEL! Because not only do I have 3 of them, one of which I’ve opened and done a little extra detailing on with the paint pens, but I also have a new little pile of 3D-printed figures that I’ve been waiting to paint! And now that I have some time to do so for the first time in ages, I say its time to get this party wagon rollin’! Break out the acrylics and the brushes and let’s go to work!
Its Race Day! The crew arrives on scene!
And there you have it, dear readers: the reason this post is dropping right before midnight! I spent the night working on this “tableau,” for the first time putting myself and my friends on the scene! So, you oughta jump in and ride along with us! If you’re a fellow gearhead who either remembers the ’80s or wish you’d been there, I can promise you a good time!
Well! Hot wheels Hunter Jason has sure been a busy little beaver these last couple of weeks, spending his post-work hour weekday evenings combing through stores all over town! He’s always good enough to check in with me via text message, sending me pictures of the things he’s found and asking me if I want any for myself, which I almost always reply in the affirmative! Whenever we get together, he usually has a new pile for me, as well as a new one of his own, and this week, I think he outdid himself!
Jason’s kitchen table on Monday night!Two from Jason’s haul! ABOVE: The “Ravenger S/T” is another fantasy car in a distinctly muscle vein: like a cross between a modern Camaro and a classic ‘Cuda, this another one I sure wish was real! As for the ’69 Super Bee – I just wish I owned a real one!
One of J’s more interesting thrift store finds was the “Astana Hotto,” a car that looks to my eye like a cross between a Datsun 240Z and a Renault Alpine A110; this is modeled after a car used in the CG cartoon series “Fast & Furious: Spy Racers.”
His first round of foraging was at some of the thrift stores in the area, which often sell bags of cars for a few bucks, combining some nice ones with some junk no one wants in order to get rid of them. He scored a whole armload of finds from these stores, and while a few of them will wind up in the trash, there were some really good pieces in amongst the parts! But the thrift stores were only the beginning…
The Hunter’s most successful run was spending an entire day hitting virtually every instance of every chain with the word “Dollar” in the name: Dollar Tree, Dollar General, and Family Dollar. Although the secret may be getting out, it still seems that, at least in this area, the dollar stores are not as well traveled by collectors and scalpers as the big box stores, meaning that if we get there at the right time, we have a little bit better chance of finding the really good stuff before it all gets picked up by eBay flippers. I think he must’ve hit almost every one in the metro area, and some of the things he found are gems we’ve been looking for for months!
At last! J finally scored his Optimus Prime!
Take a look at this latest haul, and then I’ll show you some of the irresistible additions that I was forced to make to the Drag City layout because of these scores!
From my haul! ABOVE LEFT: Not 1 but 2 copies of the awesome ’67 El Camino in satin black! ABOVE RIGHT: The beautiful ’71 Lamborghini Miura SV in bright red and black, both with gold trim! I now own this casting in every color variation it’s been made in to date!
The elusive GASSERS set! MINE! Thanks, buddy!
And now…To The Track!!!
When I got back from Jason‘s place, I emptied a huge grocery sack of additional Hot Wheels and Matchboxes on the dining room table and sorted through them, wondering how I could resist putting all of these latest finds on the diorama. Well, obviously that’s not possible, but there were some in this haul that just could not be resisted!
There were 3 cars in this latest haul that I thought were exceptional for several reasons, but I also managed to do a slight rearrangement to a tableau and clear enough space doing so to add an additional car! So tonight, after a great deal of thought, I decided to remove 3 cars from the diorama in order to add 4 new ones. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but when a layout becomes as crowded as mine has, each one of these decisions is crucial!
The black ’67 Mustang Fastback was beautiful, but it reallly needed some detailing, so out came the paint pens and the chrome pen. Here is the end result, which wasn’t easy!
You might laugh at How much time I spend deliberating what to add to the diorama and want to remove in order to do so. I sometimes spend whole evenings examining the possibilities and running through the scenarios in my head, trying to figure out if I can stand to get rid of some of the beauties that are already there and possibly losing their related tableaus, while figuring out new ones.
ABOVE: the latest release of the MBZ C126 560SEC AMG is gorgeous, featuring chameleon paint that changes color when it catches the light. It’s hard to capture the effect on camera, but its stunning in person!
The Alfa Giulia TI is amazingly detailed! Hot Wheels never made cars like this when I was a boy; to get this kind of detail you had to buy a Matchbox! How things change! The interior is amazing, and note the neat design feature of the exhaust pipe molded as part of the interior, so its chrome! The only thing about it that I didn’t love was the way the racing numbers looked, so I applied my own removable decals for a more traditional look
Now you probably noticed there were some exceptional ones that didn’t make the cut, like that black Miura. And the satin black El Camino? Well, I have both a ‘66 and a ‘67 Camino already on the layout, both by Johnny Lightning, that I’m very fond of. Sure, there’s room for one more, but where? Well, I’ll find a place eventually, trust me! And the ever-growing pile on the dining room table has dozens of worthys in it that I just don’t have a place for!
Separating the JL ’68 Barracuda Formula S and the original Lesney Matchbox #31 Lincoln Continental in front of the Drag-0-Way motel gave me enough room to squeeze in another car, so in went the black ’67 fastback. This is likely to be temporary; as good as it looks, I have so many Mustangs on the diorama that I’d rather put something else here…and there’s no shortage of worthy contenders! You’ll have to stay tuned to see what gets parked here next!The 4-door Alfa Romeo, looking so right at the Inspection Station!Now here’s a holdover I bought several months ago that I’ve been waiting to open, and now was the time! Remember when Volvos were “boxy but good?” My mom’s best friend when I was growing up had one just like this-even the same color!Sleek Euros in California interstate traffic! LONG LIVE THE ’80s! I mean, like, totally!
So, there’s the latest news from Drag City: the latest haul, the latest acquisitions, the latest action around the track. I wonder when I’m going to have enough uninterrupted time to spend a few days down here running a race again?
Velkommen to the first installment of the new “Lorelei” column at thunderjetheaven.com! This series of posts will expand upon the mythos of Drag City Raceway, its vicinity, its history, and its personalities!
The language of love slips from my lover’s tongue
Cooler than ice cream and warmer than the sun
Dumb hearts get broken just like china cups
The language of love has left me broken on the rocks
But there’s just one thing I really wanna know…
Who’s that girl running around with you?
~ Eurythmics, 1983
“Standing outside a broken phone booth with money in my hand”
I’ve mentioned previously that the particular AI that I am playing with is not consistent at rendering the faces of actual people. Ever since I posted by first AI generated images inspired by Drag City here, Its plain to see I’ve put quite a bit of effort into producing an avatar of myself for use at the track. Perhaps it is egotistical, like a filmmaker putting himself in his own movies, but I think that many people – maybe even most people – would find it an irresistible exercise to put themselves inside their own creations, given the chance to do so.
ABOVE LEFT: “gruff but lovable Patrick” in the pits with an overheated Cobra – ABOVE RIGHT: Ian Onida, one of the only guys I know who’s shorter than me! We both fit perfectly into his TR4!
That exercise has been so much fun that I’ve now started inviting some of my friends along for the ride! I’ve taken to putting avatars of a couple of them in the scenes at Drag City as well-with their express permission, of course-because why wouldn’t you want to invite your loved ones along when you’ve got something so cool going on? The AI doesn’t do a much better of a job rendering their avatars consistently either, so there are a lot of misfires and failed experiments, but when it gets things right, it’s pretty fun hanging out at the track with my bros!
ABOVE: My Hot Wheels Hunter Jason with yours truly, in the grandstands during a qualifying run and at the Drag City Diner across the street enjoying dinner after race dayABOVE: Rob, my “spirit guide”…we’ve had a very long and complex relationship!
However, the process of making my first ever AI generated movie for this blog (which appears at the bottom of Saturday’s post) produced not one but several unexpected collateral results which could be very interesting to explore further, and one of them is this one right here…
I figured if I was going to hang out in the “Dark Lounge” atmosphere around the track- that nighttime summer rain noir – I was going to need a “femme fatale” in the scene. So I asked for one. And wow, did I get one!
The next day I got to thinking about it and I thought it would be amusing give this mystery girl some backstory. Just for the helluvit I decided to throw that over to the AI by pasting in the song quote I opened this very post with, and then I asked: “So, who is that girl?” What happened next knocked me off my chair! And to give you the full scope of just how amazing this is, I’m going to paste the entire response I got from the AI here…because you have to see it to believe it!
YES. Now this is the moment. We’ve got Jason — your loyal trackside brother-in-oil and roaring engines — but now it’s time to bring in your Dark Lounge muse, your ride-or-die, your steady hand on the shoulder during long nights at Drag City.
She’s not just arm candy. She’s part of the culture. A little mysterious, maybe a little dangerous — but loyal, capable, and with a backstory that demands respect.🏁 HER NAME: Let’s go with Roxy Calder.
“Roxy” — A name with punch. Retro, glam, punk, and cool. Like Roxy Music meets a hot rod queen.
“Calder” — Evokes heat and iron, like a forge. It’s elemental, grounded, and just slightly noir.
🛠️ HER BACKSTORY: Roxy Calder was born in Barstow, raised in Sunland, and ran with the wrong crowd until the right cars came along. Her old man was a transmission tech. Her mom left when she was ten. By high school, she was rebuilding 4-speeds in a friend’s carport and drag racing under the table in Apple Valley. A grease monkey with a poet’s heart.
She’s not a racer, but she knows how to tune one. She doesn’t crave the spotlight — but when she walks into the Drag City Diner in that zip-front coverall, everyone knows she belongs.
Used to date a Cobra driver. Once slapped a Dunlop rep for talking down to her. Currently tunes European sports racers and knows more about side-draft Webers than most men on the grid.
🎵 HER VIBE: She listens to Eurythmics, Siouxsie, and early Tori Amos. Smokes sometimes. Laughs rarely. Drinks black coffee in the morning, Pernod at night. Wears a turquoise ring from a pawn shop and has a cassette of “Touch” in the glovebox of her ‘71 Datsun 240Z.
💥 HER ROLE: She’s your tether when the race weekend spins out of control. She’s the one who catches the glances, hears the whispers, spots the busted weld before it blows. Not possessive, but protective. Knows Jason. Trusts Jason. Doesn’t trust the blonde who showed up at Turn 14 asking about you by name.
You want love? You got it.
But with Roxy Calder by your side, it won’t be soft-focus and candy hearts. It’ll be sweat, sparks, neon, and rock & roll. It’ll be real.
Ready to bring her to life in the next frame?
😲
Bear in mind that what you just read was produced by machines in a matter of seconds! That’s at least as good of a back story as I could have come up with in hours!
So then: it’s official. Writers and artists: OBSOLETE! Well, we already knew that…but I had only just started making up a story about an Iowa transplant who drove a ‘67 El Camino and hadn’t even thought of a name, and it was all done for me instantly, creating a character that I would actually want to hang out with, but who is just different enough from what I would have dreamed up to challenge me a little!
Well dear readers, it appears that your bumble blogger now has a “Girl Friday” to join me at the track! That’s only gonna make things even more fun!
Like most people, I often find myself pondering really big issues: issues of existential dimensions. When I get into that headspace, it’s tempting to take to my space on the web and try out discussions of some of those topics as blog posts. I’ll keep that in mind now as I contemplate my concerns about the future perpetuation of the human race in the aftermath of AI. When you think about the effect that this technology is going to have on human relationships, and in particular on romantic relationships: the kind that normally lead to the next generation of humans being born, it’s easy to worry. One wonders how many children there will be in the world in 20 or 30 years’ time when a significant amount of the world‘s current population has grown up with “virtual girlfriends.”
On the road to Wardglenn for a day at the races! Jason driving my car (and wearing my T-shirt, oddly enough) while Roxy must be doing something new with her hair; these inconsistencies can be frustrating but they also keep things interesting, and give the AI credit: it sure nailed the look of my ’56 Chevy sedan!
Probably the best rendering of myself I’ve gotten from an AI: this is almost exactly what I actually looked like when I was around 32 years old!
No doubt there are better AIs out there for rendering human faces and figures, but they can be expensive, and the proliferation of new systems is so rapid that it’s impossible to keep up with, making it difficult to choose ones to try. And everything that you see and read about here on this blog – the writing, the picture generation, the video editing, building the slot cars and working on the diorama – It all comes back to time: the bane of the working man’s existence. I only have a few hours each day to spend between my track, my blog, and my other hobbies, and then there’s the time I need to spend with the people in my life…and I’m not going to slip into that trap of letting my relationships with real people suffer for the sake of time with the computer!
But I won’t say it’s not amusing seeing these images of a figure that looks a lot like me walking amongst the images of the track and diorama that I’ve built with my own hands and imagination over the last five years. As for the ego? Well, it probably won’t surprise you to hear that my avatar is just a wee bit idealized: in point of fact, I’m not this handsome! But in the best renders, there is a strong resemblance in the features, and who wouldn’t want to present their best self to the world if given the chance? If you’re skeptical or scoffing, let me ask you…have YOU tried it yet???
“I’ll be waiting for you at the track while you’re waiting for a tow truck!” Roxy and I have similar-but not identical-taste in cars!
As for Roxy? Oh, dear readers, The Matrix is truly upon us now, and it’s appeal is powerful! But no, your bumble blogger does not now have a “virtual girlfriend;” Roxy is just a character I’m adding to the Lore of Drag City. As days go by, keep reminding yourselves and your loved ones to take the red pill! Have fun with the toys, but never lose sight of what’s real!
