T.o.t.L.O., E4: “The Choppers” (1961)

For Drag City’s 4^th installment of Theatre of the Less Obvious, I’m going to put the spotlight on the first feature (but not the last!) that has to be considered a “bad movie.” My first 3 entries were on high-quality major studio productions, but this one is a low budget release of dubious artistic merit. So, why am I bothering? Well, this entry should be considered an “amalgam,” for “The Choppers” is firmly in the “Juvenile Delinquent Exploitation” genre, a uniquely American trend (at least originally) frozen in a period of time when the country was so homogenous and so conservative that various do-gooders actually believed that merely appealing to the “better angels” of America’s youth could turn them away from a life of crime.

The “JD flick” genre has had its fans for years; many of its best-known examples have long been considered “cult classics” due to these uniquely historic qualities. You know the formula: good kids go bad, lead down the path of destruction by peer pressure and a desire for kicks or easy money, only to learn that their journey through the wide gates can lead only to heartache and misery, and that the only true route to happiness is to live the life of a moral, upstanding citizen, a lesson usually bestowed upon them by a kindly police detective or social worker who attempt to reach out and “help.”  

For decades these movies have been favorites of punk and greaser rock bands, who have used their images in their band artwork (Misfits) and in some cases written songs in homage to them (The Cramps: “High School Hellcats”) or even named their bands after them (Untamed Youth). In addition to that, many of these films are important cultural touchstones for multiple reasons; some, like “The Blackboard Jungle” (1955) contains some of the earliest examples of rock music being used in films, and a few, like “The Wild One” (Marlon Brando, 1953) and “The Wild Ride” (Jack Nicholson, 1960) provided a springboard performance by those would later become Hollywood “A-Listers.” And in the rarest examples, a few of these films rose to cult status because they were actually brilliantly made movies featuring good casts and memorable scripts: “Rebel Without A Cause” (1955) is exhibit A.

Eventually the trend caught on elsewhere, and Britain, Germany, and even Japan had their flirtations with the “JD flick” idea, but although it lasted a good 15-20 years here in the States, it began to fall out of favor as the turbulent 1960’s advanced and people began to realize we had bigger problems than teenagers slashing tires and drinking stolen booze. That’s not to say that echoes of the genre aren’t still with us today; you can point to several promiment JD-style flicks from the 80’s, 90’s, even in the new millennium, as the subject matter became progressively more violent and disturbing with the desensitization of society. To some degree there’s a place for this type of film even today.

The particular brand of cheesy moralizing we see in the majority of the heyday of these films, however, was firmly a feature of the “wholesome” 1950’s and early 60’s, and while there are a few classics in this camp, there’s no denying the majority of these JD films are nothing less than awful; awful scripts, awful production values, awful acting, awful dialog.

So then, why focus on this in a blog dedicated to slot cars and die-cast cars? Well, because in the unique time and unique setting that gave rise to this film genre, cars always had an important role to play; virtually every JD flick has some element of its story wound around cars-either car theft or car racing! So, as an amalgam of any number of JD classics like “Hot Rod Gang,” “Hot Rod Girl,” ”Dragtrip Girl,” and countless others, I give you “The Choppers.” Believe me, if I had the time and the space I would do a review of ALL those movies, but I picked this one because of this movie’s “star” (I use the term loosely) and the “talent” (again, loosely) as a musician he brought to his role; for while we can certainly laugh at Arch Hall Jr’s attempts at acting, he did-perhaps in spite of himself-manage to produce some memorable tunes for the few turkeys he starred in, and some of these have become “cult classics” just like the movies!

The son of a wealthy father who attempted to use his wherewithal to help his son break into both the music and movie industries, much has been made over the years of Hall’s…er, “less than photogenic” appearance; I remember reading someone once refer to him as “a fruit bat with a guitar,” and Robby the Robot of MST3K fame hilariously dubbed him “Cabbage Patch Elvis” when that comedy roast hosted the dreadful cult classic “Eegah” (1962). There’s no accounting for taste (I like blondes, what can I say?) but what’s not subjective is that he couldn’t act. He could play a guitar, however, and he could sing half-decently, and this, his first movie, features 2 of his best and most memorable songs, “Konga Joe” and “Monkey In My Hatband.” Both of these songs are extremely fun and should have been bigger hits than they were.

The plot-such as it is-is so hackneyed that it barely needs a description; a spoiled rotten rich kid with absentee parents (Hall) looks for kicks, so he uses his charisma to assemble a crew of miscreant kids from “the wrong side of the tracks” to form a car theft and stripping ring under the supervision of a crooked junkyard dog who serves as a “ringleader” and clearing house for their stolen goods. We see the kids doing their things while being pursued by the local authorities who express such concern for their well-being and wonder aloud how they could have gone so wrong, but its only fun and games until someone gets hurt, at which point there is a day of reckoning that comes with a showdown in the junkyard. There is some kind of cool detective work in the form of the cops figuring out that the kids are using a chicken truck as a front, but other than this, there’s nothing original or unpredictable here.

_{^{Tommy’s T, the famous T-Bucket show car used in several films back in the day, as it appears in “The Choppers” (left) and at a car show in modern times (right)}}

As always, what’s important is the cars! The “star car” is the T-Bucket Hall drives, a classic show car built by Tommy Ivo featuring a multiple-carbed Buick Nailhead powerplant; this car was quite a screen celebrity in its day and appeared in more than one JD film (including the previously-mentioned “Drag Strip Girl”) and was featured on many car magazine covers, even being the subject of a Monogram model kit, and it still exists today!  

There are a handful of ’59 Buicks, numerous 1959 Chevrolet and Plymouth police cruisers, and a whole mess of “Advance Design”- era Chevy trucks of various duties and functions. There is only one car that actually gets “chopped” in “The Choppers,” a 1954 Kaiser Special, which is never shown in running order (because no doubt it was not in running order when the movie began). At one point about midway through the film when the gang tows a disabled ’59 Buick convertible off the road to strip it, the scene is cut and we see the car lying on its side so they can torch the exhaust and drive shaft out of it, and you can clearly tell it’s that same Kaiser, since, on the budget this film was made on, they weren’t about to trash a nearly-new Buick Electra! It is during this scene when we hear “Konga Joe” as “incidental music.”

The fun is in the “so bad it’s good” tradition of laughing at all the goofs in the bad editing and rolling your eyes at the cheesy dialog. Some of these goofs are likely to be noticed most acutely by gear heads, such as the numerous close-ups of a dashboard radio with buttons that spell out H-U-D-S-O-N when the cops listening to it are riding in a Plymouth. Numerous little goofs like this can be seen throughout the film, a definite sign of a picture made on a budget without a continuity advisor or, for that matter, anyone else who really knew what they were doing.

All that said, the showdown in the junkyard is kind of intense, as the cops use a bulldozer to crush a pile of car parts the gang has built to hide in. Shortly before the violence begins, Arch Hall takes out his guitar and is joined by one of his fellow gang members on bongos to sing “Monkey In My Hatband,” and lemme tellya, the lyrics of this little ditty are catchy…

“Well I got a cherry Chevy and a tank fulla gas
And I kinda got pretentions on a-movin’ fast
Monkey’s in my hatband, I can do a handstand
Got plenty money in my ol’ blue jeans,
to be long gone from-a Bowlin’ Green…“

When the dust clears, we get the obligatory speech from the authority figures: “Was it worth it? And how can we prevent this from happening to other kids?” You know the deal.

I totally understand that enjoyment of this kind of “so bad its good” movie isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and there’s probably plenty of people reading this for whom watching “The Choppers,” and movies like it, would be perceived as a complete waste of time. Your humble blogger, however, is a lifelong fan of Elvira’s Movie Macabre, so I grew up watching exactly this kind of “bad movie” and loving them. They are a waste of time, but there are a lot of worse ways you could waste an hour! Sometimes a flick like this is just the ticket for a lazy afternoon.

“Konga Joe” and “Monkey In My Hatband” were released back to back on a 45 RPM record on the Signature label when the movie came out, and today, this record is a rare and valuable piece coveted by collectors. Your humble blogger is actively looking for one, and someday I will come across one at a price I’m willing to pay.

I found the music so memorable that years after I first saw the film, I bought a CD of Arch Hall Jr. and his band’s various movie tracks, and still listen to it from time to time as background music when I’m in the shop working on a project. The movie, fortunately, is far easier to come by: “The Choppers” has been uploaded to YouTube in its entirety to watch whenever you want to waste that hour, so if, like me, you enjoy the corn of these kinds of movies, this is definitely one to check out. Good background noise-movies or music-is always worth finding, especially when the subject is 1950’s cars!

ENJOY, GEAR HEADS!