What’s In A [Nick]name?

I won it! I got the LAST body for the sports car fleet on ebay today: this is the car that will complete the sports car fleet, bringing the number to 64 cars. I won’t say what it is yet-you’ll see it soon enough-but the 63^rd car has already arrived and is waiting to be built (it’s another Cigar Box conversion, details coming soon).

This got me thinking, so here’s something else I spent Saturday night doing when I wanted to be racing, since I had to sit at my desk configuring several complex pieces of computer hardware. Since I have 5 computers surrounding me on all sides I could spin around from one to the other and work on several things at once, as I’ve learned to do through the years, and on a lark I started a project that turned out to be a little more involved than I expected, but I enjoyed it, so I went with it.

Recall that one of my earliest “Meet The Fleet” installments (I believe it was a profile of the copper ’59 Impala) I mentioned that only a few on my cars have nicknames. Well, now that I’m completing both my fleets, I thought it was time to change that.

But then I decided to take it a step further. Nicknaming the cars is one thing, but what about the drivers? Who is piloting these cars when I’m not at the stick?

So I sat me down with some name generators and some website info and the memory of my near 50 years of Generation-X life and thought about all the people I’ve known and the things I’ve seen and the the stuff I haven’t done, and came up with nicknames…for 2 fleets of 64 cars…and their drivers.

That’s 128 car nicknames and 128 driver nicknames for a total of 256 monikers!

Whew! That took a while! It was fun, though, and I’m glad I did it, because I like the story aspect of it; naming the cars and their drivers gives them more identity, and gives me heroes to root for (and maybe villains to root against!) and builds history and realism into the fleet.

I realize that few among my “huge readership” are likely to have much interest in this but hey, it’s late and I’m getting ready for bed, so while I’m winding down, I’ll show you my Excel spreadsheets!

(NOTE: In most cases, colors of the car are mentioned only where I have more than one copy of the same body, which is most, but not all)

CAR to CAR NICKNAME to DRIVER NICKNAME TABLE : MUSCLE CAR FLEET

CAR	CAR NAME	DRIVER NAME
maroon ’67 PONTIAC GTO	PALADIN	“AIRJACK” ADAMS
silver ’71 CHEVY CAMARO	COMMANDO	“CANNONBALL” CAMERON
blue ’69 PLYMOUTH ROADRUNNER	BUSHMASTER	“HOLESHOT” HERNANDEZ
lime green ’69 PONTIAC GTO	PERPETRATOR	“CHOPPER” CARSON
red ’62 PONTIAC CATALINA	POSEIDON	“DEATH DODGER” DOUGLASS
white ’41 WILLYS AMERICAR	RATT FINK	“GASSER” GIBBONS
red ’41 WILLYS AMERICAR	U.S. CUSTOMS	“EARTHQUAKE” EISENBERG
maroon ’67 CORVETTE HARDTOP ROADSTER	KO-MOTION	“FREESTYLE” FERGUSON
62 CHEVY BEL-AIR	PEPPERMINT	“GENERAL” SHERMAN
maroon ’68 DODGE CHARGER	MALEVOLENCE	“BANDIT” BARTELL
dk blue ’70 CHEVY NOVA SS	NIGHTCRAWLER	“GOOSE” GIBSON
candy green ’67 CHEVY MALIBU SS	THE CANDYMAN	“FIREBALL” FRAZIER
green MAKO SHARK	MAKO MAXIMUS	“GRENADE” GRANT
black ’70 CHEVY CHEVELLE SS	NIGHT RANGER	“SHADE” STEWART
orange ’69 CHEVY CAMARO YENKO	ORANGE SUNSHINE	“REDLINE” ROBERTS
black ’57 CHEVY BEL-AIR	BLACK KNIGHT	“WHEELSPIN” WALLACE
red ’67 PONTIAC GTO	SCARLETT FEVER	“CRIMSON” CALHOUN
yellow ’67 CHEVY MALIBU SS	THE SULTAN	“BIG BEAT” BANNER
white ’67 CHEVY MALIBU SS	WHITE LIGHTNING	“STORM RIDER” SUTHERLAND
orange ’67 PONTIAC GTO	SKULL CRUSHER	“T-BONE” TAGGART
69 AMC AMX	SINNER	“RED DEVIL” RYAN
gold ’65 FORD MUSTANG FASTBACK	GOLDEN DAWN	“WEREWOLF” WARD
blue ’65 FORD MUSTANG FASTBACK	TROPICAL TWIST	“ROAD RUNNER” RAMSEY
white ’67 CAMARO RS	GHOST RIDER	“BLACK JACK” BRODIE
yellow ’70 FORD MUSTANG BOSS 302	HAVOC	“MR. MENACE” MONROE
red ’70 CHEVY CHEVELLE SS	THE LANDLORD	“OUTLAW” OBERMANN
green ’70 CHEVY CHEVELLE SS	LINEBACKER	“BIG DICK” MACKENZIE
orange ’70 FORD MUSTANG MACH 1	THE PUNISHER	“NITRO” NORRIS
yellow ’69 PONTIAC GTO “JUDGE”	THE WIDOWMAKER	“SCORCH” SANTELLI
red ’69 CHEVY NOVA SS	STREET RAT	“VIPER” VITTORO
teal ’68 CHEVY NOVA SS	BRUTE FORCE	“KAMIKAZE” KELLY
red ’68 FORD TORINO	BULLDOZER	“DIESEL” DANNER
lime green ’67 CHEVY CAMARO RS	MAGNETO	“MAVERICK” MACCALLUM
dk brown ’68 PONTIAC FIREBIRD	LEVIATHAN	“BUDDY” BRECKENRIDGE
dk green ’69 CHEVY CAMARO RS/SS	GRENDEL	“JOLT” JACOBSEN
yellow ’71 CHEVY CAMARO	LIGHTRIDER	“HEADHUNTER” HAGARTY
blue ’68 DODGE CHARGER	BLUE CHROME	BORIS “BLASTER”
pink ’70 PLYMOUTH BARRACUDA	THE PINK PANZER	“LITTLE LADY” LUCIANO
yellow ’70 DODGE CHALLENGER	STRIKER	“BREAKOUT” BERNARDI
purple ’68 DODGE CHARGER	VINDICATOR	“HANDSOME HENRY”
blue ’67 CHEVY NOVA SS	THE SLIDER	“LUCKY” LOGAN
white ’70 FORD MAVERICK	GETAWAY GRABBER	“BOMBER” BUCHANNAN
green ’70 FORD MAVERICK	GATOR GREASE	“BLONDEY” BALDWIN
yellow ’67 CHEVY NOVA SS	SMOOTH RIDER	“HORSECOCK” HENDERSON
purple ’65 PONTIAC GTO	BAD INTENTIONS	“SNAKE” SKEATES
green ’70 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS 442	GRENADIER	“JUMPER” JOHNSON
gold ’70 OLDSMOBILE CUTLASS 442	LOW FLYER	“RAILBENDER” RUSKIN
64 PONTIAC GTO	OLD RELIABLE	“COMEBACK KID” CUNNINGHAM
yellow ’70 CORVETTE	THE PHAROAH	“MONGOOSE” MATHESON
white ’67 PLYMOUTH BELVEDERE GTX	GENERAL PATTON	“BLOWER” BOYD
purple ’67 PLYMOUTH BELVEDERE GTX	GASKIN	“LIGHTSPEED” MACCLELLAN
red ’70 CORVETTE	LITTLE RED CORVETTE	“BURNOUT” BELTRAN
blue ’63 BUICK RIVIERA	POETRY IN MOTION	“COMET” COBURN
64 FORD FAIRLANE THUNDERBOLT	EXTERMINATOR	“SMOKEY” RUTHERFORD
64 DODGE POLARA 330	THE FINAL COUNTDOWN	“WILD THING” WAHLBERG
white ’63 BUICK RIVIERA	GLACIER	“ICEMAN” IVAN
orange ’70 CHEVY CAMARO Z-28	EL GRANDE	“WIDE OPEN” ROBERTS
41 WILLYS “DIRT-TRACKER”	BACK COUNTRY BENDER	“RUBBERBURN” REINHART
41 WILLYS “BARN-FIND”	NEVER BEEN CAUGHT	“DIGGER” DARROW
58 PLYMOUTH BELVEDERE “BARN-FIND”	INDESTRUCTIBLE	“HAMMER” HARRISON
copper ’59 CHEVY IMPALA	THE COPPER CRATE	“ELVIS” ESPOSITO
gold ’58 PLYMOUTH BELVEDERE	FURIOUS	“ZIGZAG” ZIMMERMAN
59 STUDEBAKER POWER HAWK	THE TRACKTOR	“FENDER BENDER” FRANKLIN
green/cream ’59 CHEVY IMPALA	THE HEAVY CHEVY	“RAIDER” RASNER

CAR to CAR NICKNAME to DRIVER NICKNAME TABLE : SPORTS/RACING CAR FLEET

CAR	RACING #	CAR NAME	DRIVER NAME
white CORVETTE GRAND SPORT	1	• Number One	“WONDERKID” WILLIAMS
blue CORVETTE GRAND SPORT	2	• Terminator	“QUICKSHIFT” QUINTEN
black LOLA GT Mk.VI	3	• Shotgun	“BLIZZARD” RODMAN
green/black CHAPARRAL 2F	4	• Tropicana	“HAIRPIN” HUMMEL
blue FORD G.T.40	5	• Liberty	“ROCKET” RYDER
green CORVETTE HARDTOP ROADSTER	6	• Bada-bing	“SPIRIT” SOKOLOV
green FIREBIRD TRANS-AM	7	• Armageddon	“ROCKY” RALSTON
green PORSCHE 904 CARRERA GTS	8	• Howitzer	“WHITE SMOKE” WIRTH
yellow CORVETTE GRAND SPORT	9	• Naughty Nasty Mean Ol’ Number Nine	“KODIAK” KENDRICK
red FERRARI 250 GTO	10	• Prometheus	“PRESTIGE” PELLEGRINI
tan PORSCHE 904 CARRERA GTS	11	• Ragnar	“WOLF” WAGNER
yellow JAGUAR E-TYPE	12	• God Save The Queen	“POCKET ROCKET” PATTERSON
turquoise FORD G.T.40	13	• Alpha	“FLASH” FAULKNER
green JAGUAR E-TYPE	14	• Bulldog	“MOMENTUM” MILLIGAN
blue SHELBY GT350 MUSTANG	15	• Crusher	“SPARK” SIMPSON
yellow CORVETTE STINGRAY COUPE	15	• Beastie	“STRAIGHTLINE” STRICKLAND
green COBRA DAYTONA COUPE	16	• Grudge Run	“TURBO” TRUMP
yellow CHEETAH	18	• King Of The Hill	“THROTTLESTOP” STEELE
blue CHEETAH	19	• Catapult	“SMOOTH RIDE” SANDOVAL
tan JAGUAR E-TYPE	20	• Guardian	“HURRICANE” HOUSTON
white PORSCHE 904 CARRERA GTS	21	• Blitz	“RUSTY” RANGER
red MASERATI 3500GT	22	• Matador	“LEADFOOT” LEONI
white ’70 CORVETTE	23	• Intimidator	“PRODIGY” PHILIPS
CHAPARRAL 2B	24	• Cold War	“PROTOTYPE” PASTERNAK
yellow/blue FORD J-CAR	25	• Calamity	“REFLEX” REID
red/white FIREBIRD TRANS-AM	26	• Carzilla	“CAPTAIN NEMO” STANFORD
red FORD G.T.40	27	• Fire Engine	“THRILLER” DILLER
white COBRA 260	29	• Ace	“HYBRID” HUGHES
yellow FERRARI DINO 206S	30	• Centurion	“BABY FACE” BARONE
blue ALFA ROMEO 33/3	31	• Bandit	“SHORTSHIFT” SORENSON
cream MASERATI 3500GT	33	• Lady Luck	“ZERO” ZUCCA
maroon SHELBY GT350 MUSTANG	35	• Heavy Metal	“FRICTION” FASSBINDER
red JAGUAR E-TYPE	34	• Spitfire	“ROCKETEER” ROWE
yellow FERRARI 250 GTO	36	• Belladonna	“MUSCLES” MORELLI
red ALFA ROMEO 33/3	38	• Dardo	“DYNAMITE” DESANTIS
MCLAREN ELVA	39	• Archer	“WHEELIE” WINWOOD
black COBRA 427SC	40	• Black Prince	“DRIFTER” DUNBAR
black PLYMOUTH BARRACUDA	42	• Behemoth	“BRUTE” BAILEY
yellow CHAPPARAL 2F	45	• Loose Canon	“SALTY” SULLIVAN
blue FERRARI DINO 206S	46	• Athena	“GRIDLINE” GIORDANO
white MAKO SHARK	47	• Dirty Harry	“HAPPY” MCARTHUR
white SHELBY GT350 MUSTANG	55	• Bombardier	“SANDBAG” SPENCER
red FERRARI DINO 206S	56	• El Diablo	“RAPIDO” RANALLO
red COBRA 260	57	• Crowd Pleaser	“HEADWAY” HUDSON
silver COBRA 427SC	58	• Grim Reaper	“ICEHEART” SINGLETON
orange CHEETAH	59	• Troublemaker	“FROSTY” SNOW
cream LOLA GT Mk.VI	60	• Charlemagne	“TYPHOON” VON TRIPPS
red LOLA GT Mk.VI	61	• Chaser	“PITSTOP” PACKWOOD
turquoise LOLA GT Mk.VI	62	• Dauntless	“LIONHEART” LAMONT
white COBRA DAYTONA COUPE	65	• Taz	“CARNAGE” CALLAHAN
turquoise MASERATI 3500GT	66	• Duchess	“RUMBLE” REYNOLDS
orange CORVETTE HARDTOP ROADSTER	67	• Road Wrecker	“RODEO” RANDALL
yellow SHELBY GT350 MUSTANG	70	• King Kong	“CLUTCH” CONNORS
white FORD G.T.40	76	• Crusader	“VELOCITY” VAN BUREN
red PORSCHE 904 CARRERA GTS	80	• Stormer	“BUSTER” BARNES
red ALFA ROMEO GIULIETTA	81	• Batista	“SHAKEY” SILVESTRI
yellow MASERATI 3500GT	88	• Artemis	“FORZA” FARINA
silver ALFA ROMEO 2600 GTV	89	• Loki	“MATRIX” MARIANO
white FERRARI DINO 206S	90	• Demeter	“SLINGSHOT” SANTANA
red COBRA DAYTONA COUPE	95	• Machete	“DUSTER” DONAGHUE
white CHEETAH	99	• Most Wanted	“SHOWTIME” SANDERSON
yellow ’68 CAMARO	100	• Butcher	“ACCELERATOR” ARCHIBALD
blue FERRARI 250 GTO	317	• Aegean	“GLACIER” GIUILIANI
red/black FORD J-CAR	63	• Anarchy	“MAGIC FEET” MURDOCH

So as you can see, almost all of the driver nicknames use cheesy alliteration, because most nicknames do! I made up almost all of these, although the two penis size references, “Big Dick MacKenzie” and “Horsecock Henderson,” were nicknames of guys I actually knew in my youth (yeah, yeah, I know! I mis-spent my youth in some questionable places, OK?) Note there is also a lone female driver piloting the “panther pink” ’70 Barracuda called “The Pink Panzer.” Am I stereotyping? Probably, but who’s to say a badass chick shouldn’t like the color pink? Hopefully “LIttle Lady Luciano” is not related to the infamous “Lucky Luciano” but, ya never know! And since the gold ’65 Mustang is my car, that driver has my own surname…not to mention that if I were a monster, I’d be a werewolf…cuz werewolves are woofy!

Not all of this came from rhyming dictionaries and name generators; some of it just came from inside my head. Some were inspired by band names or song lyrics, some of it from memories of names I’d made up from years ago that I somehow never forgot, and no doubt some of it came from the dark recesses of my subconscious where-as you can see-there’s some scary stuff lurking.

I did make an attempt to make some of the surnames in the sport car fleet sound more “international” befitting the multi-national nature of the cars, while naturally the muscle fleet is All-American, but of course we know that many great drivers race for teams whose nationalities are different from those they are born in, so I did not feel a need to adhere to this too strictly.

Well, it was a fun diversion: a different sort of way of playing with my slot cars. And now, on with the show!